Remember back to when you were a kid, when you did things just because you wanted to, and just because you could?
Running, climbing, playing make-believe, making dens, intently watching a ladybug walking along a wall for ages.
When was the last time you did anything just for the hell of it?
There were no feelings of guilt, like telling yourself “I don’t have time for this.” Or “I really should be doing such and such a thing instead of this.”
No, you actually enjoyed the moment. Just being you in that moment.
Isn’t that what life is meant to be like?
What did you enjoy doing as a kid that it seems too much of a luxury to use up time on it now?
Just close your eyes for a moment and let yourself remember yourself when younger, with less (or no) responsibilities, doing something just for you, that made you feel happy inside, or break out in a smile.
Even as responsible adults why shouldn’t we make time for that?
I’m not saying we should all just do whatever we want whenever we want, of course not – that’d be crazy right!
But the problem is that so many of us have become downtrodden by the day to day business of life that we don’t allow ourselves to let go of that enough or even at all.
Our minds are constantly thinking ahead about what we have to do or dwelling on the past regretting what we did or didn’t do – neither of those ‘times’ exist in the present.
Yes, we need to plan for future stuff & we need to remember the past, but not to the detriment of the now.
Most people are not selfish, so we find ourselves doing things for others, or doing things to be well thought of by others, and at the same time resenting that we aren’t focussing much on our own needs.
When I was a kid I daydreamed - a lot!
Just strolling the 20 minutes to my friend’s house, or idly strumming the only 4 chords I knew on my guitar, I’d ‘switch off’ and go into a creative, guiltless free-flow of thoughts & ideas – the theta state!
I didn’t know I was in theta state of course – I was a kid! I’d never heard of it, but I knew that it was an amazing place to be.
The thing is, looking back I loved being that little girl (me!) when she was in that state. I didn’t realise it then, but being in that focused, relaxed state gave me amazing peace and clarity so that interesting ideas came into my mind so easily. Now I do appreciate that so much more & make use of it all the time.
Sadly, I came to experience being that kid less & less as the years went by – and I’m thinking maybe it was the same for you?
As we get older, life gives us lots more to think about, filling our heads with what we need to do, where we need to go, who we need to see.
It’s like that curious, open part of us that just loved to experience everything has been packed away somewhere in the recesses deep inside of us.
Has that happened to you do you think? Has a facet of yourself been reduced down so much you don’t even register it’s there anymore?
Did you gradually stop doing things that brought you joy without hardly noticing that you had?
So, why should you care if that aspect of yourself never resurfaces again?
Well, if your life is all you want it to be than maybe you don’t need to care.
However, if you somehow feel something is missing in your life, or there are things you’d love to do but don’t feel able to for whatever reason then stick with me a while longer!
So, how do we get back in touch with this self-caring part of us? The part that knows that we deserve to feel fulfilled & happy just as much as anyone else deserves that.
It’s all there inside of you just waiting to be reignited. Just daydream my friend and you will reap the rewards I guarantee it.
There was a time a few years ago when I thought I had lost ‘me’.
I thought I’d lost ‘me’ to the critical voices of other people (including family & friends) over the years, to my 2 unhealthy marriages, to my soul-destroying energy-sapping jobs, to my own fears that I’d built up myself & to the relentlessness of life in general.
But no, that adventurous, inquisitive, almost fearless girl was still there & I found her again just by chance one day.
I’d had a really horrible day at work, out of the house at 6.45am, worked through lunch, stuff had gone wrong that was out of my control and I’d found out I was being posted somewhere else which was an extra 20 miles away from home.
I got back home by 5.30pm to all the washing up from the night before, a row with my husband, I’d forgotten the cooking oil in the shopping which I needed, plus the cat had thrown up on the new rug - perfect!
I know it doesn’t sound like much – 1st world problems, I know that’s totally true. I always remind myself how lucky I am to have what I have got.
That day though, a lot of other stuff was going on in the background of my life, serious family illness & financial issues, you know what that’s like, so it didn’t take much to ‘tip me over the edge’!
I just felt totally overwhelmed, helpless & powerless as if I wasn’t in control of anything in my life.
I just saw myself on this inescapable treadmill of going to work 5 long days a week (working at home on a Saturday on top of that) and trying to look after everyone else in my life to make sure they were ok.
I sat down on the bed and for some reason it hit me, I suddenly ‘saw’ myself aged about 8 years old, nothing too terrible had happened to me yet. I recalled & felt the optimism, strength & excitement for life within her – within me.
That was the essence of me – the real me who I still was, and I had forgotten that. I needed to revive that true essence of myself or I would always feel unfulfilled & unhappy. I swore to myself right then that I would reclaim myself and a life I actually wanted.
We can easily forget who we really are – our talents, skills, abilities & dreams that really ignite our passion. Most of us need to revive that to enable ourselves to get the best out of ourselves and have our best life. Don’t give in to a life where you forget about you and your needs – it’s not being selfish to care about yourself.
It doesn’t have to mean changing every single aspect of your life, just the ones that don’t feel authentic for you anymore, and that you want and are able to change.
I promise you that if you take a little quiet time now and again to reconnect with your real self and remind yourself of how you want your life to be, then you are very likely to achieve that.
Happy daydreaming!